Updated: Nov 30, 2020
By Cindy Ma
During the March quarantine, I came out as bisexual to my friend group and they were so incredibly supportive. I made a little video that played channel by Frank Ocean with a picture of the Spongebob rainbow meme but I replaced the rainbow with the bisexual colors and the words “Surprise! I’m bi”. My friends were all familiar with bisexuality, but in case anyone reading this isn’t, bisexuality is the sexual/romantic attraction to both males females and anyone in between. The common misconception of bisexuality is that they only like men and women, but that is untrue, hence the purple in the middle of the flag.
A lot of people struggle with putting a label on their sexuality and sometimes don’t choose to label it, which is totally valid, but here are some signs you may be bisexual!
Googling “Am I bisexual?” Questioning your sexuality is the first clue that you might not be straight. This might seem like an obvious one, but as a kid, I googled “Am I gay” tests and specifically choosing the answers I knew would give me the answer that I was straight, even though they were the wrong answers. I grew up in a pretty homophobic family where being gay was “unnatural”. I was always told how it wasn’t normal, so I wanted to know for sure and watched countless videos about how people found out they were bisexual. As I got older I realized that it is completely normal and a thing that lots of other people also thought.
Having strange attachments to characters or celebrities. One problem some bisexuals may have is mistaking their romantic attraction to the same gender as platonic. You might really want to be friends with a character of the same gender but really you just were attracted to them. Now, this isn’t the case for everyone but there may have been certain tv show characters or music videos that you were obsessed with as a kid. Personally, I really wanted to be friends with Maya from Girl Meets World. One of the most popular realizations for bisexuals as they get older is liking both Beck and Jade from Victorious.
The label “bisexual” feels nice. It sometimes feels nice to have a label. You become a part of a community and can find people that share similar experiences with you. Finding that label can be comforting and maybe bisexual is the one for you. You might find yourself relating to a bisexual YouTuber or a bisexual character on tv. It is always good to talk to the people around you if you know they would be accepting. Maybe you know someone in your life who shares similar experiences with you.
You can imagine yourself with someone of the same gender and the opposite gender. Some people may question themselves as being bisexual if they find someone of the same gender good looking. Anyone can find anybody attractive, but being able to see yourself in a relationship with them is a sign that you may be bisexual. For example, I mostly had boy crushes growing up but in middle school, I began to find girls more attractive. I thought maybe I just want to be closer friends with them but in reality, I could see myself being in a romantic relationship with them. It helped me realize that I could see myself in a relationship with boys, girls and non-binaries.
A good thing to remember is that you do not have to put a label on yourself. There is nothing wrong with not knowing exactly who you are or what you want. It is also good to know that bisexuality is a spectrum that can change constantly. Some days you might lean towards girls and other days you might lean towards boys. Bisexuality can also include transgender and non-binary people depending on your preference. For anybody questioning their sexuality, take your time and do not feel like you have to rush to label yourself.
Written by writer Cindy Ma