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6 Signs You Might be Gender fluid

Updated: Nov 20, 2020

By Ezra Elias Vivas




In this day and age, more and more people, especially young people, are identifying as transgender. This has led to increased visibility, and because of this increased visibility, more and more people are questioning their genders. If you’re reading this, you probably already know what gender fluidity is. Just in case you don’t, genderfluidity is defined by the Nonbinary Wiki as “[having] different gender identities at different times.” If you’re someone who’s questioning their gender, it can be very tempting to obsessively look for signs or for proof. However, as tumblr user the-transfeminine-mystique eloquently puts it, “You can’t fully know the possibilities or just how much you’ll vibe with a trans identity until you make that leap, though, there’s no amount of pre-knowledge that will do it in advance.” If you’re wondering if you might be genderfluid, here are 6 signs that could help you figure it out.

  1. Your preference in title or pronouns changes. One day, you might be fine with your partner calling you their “boyfriend,” but another day being called that might feel wrong, jarring, or even repulsive. Maybe some days you’d strongly like to be your parents’ “daughter,” while other days you wish you were simply their “child.” Perhaps you’re fine with being called “she” on some days, but on others you wish you could tell people to call you “he.”

  2. You experience dysphoria, but only sometimes. While this on its own isn’t an experience exclusive to genderfluid people, it’s very common. Dysphoria in trans context refers to marked discomfort with one’s assigned gender. Dysphoria comes from Greek roots that mean “hard to bear.” While this can be a common experience, it’s important to remember that not all trans people experience dysphoria, and it’s hardly “necessary” to have dysphoria to be trans.

  3. The idea of being read as only male or female for the rest of your life makes you uncomfortable. Imagine your life in one year. In five. In ten. While this can be very difficult (especially due to the high rates of mental illness and trauma in the trans community), it can be a helpful exercise for figuring out what you want for yourself.

  4. You find it really difficult to pin down what your gender is. Some days, you might feel like you’re definitely a girl-- no, wait, a boy. Both. Neither? No, probably boy. Probably. Despite semi-popular representation in media that depicts gender fluid people as always being able to tell what their gender is all the time, a lot of genderfluid people find it difficult to tell what our gender is at any specific time, or even what we want to look like.

  5. You’re a big fan of, really relate to, or wish you were a shapeshifter. A lot of media with trans, genderqueer, nonbinary, and/or genderfluid characters portray them as shapeshifters.

  6. You’re really fascinated by the concept of gender fluidity, want to be genderfluid, or spend a lot of time wondering if you’re genderfluid. Think of it this way: cis people don’t spend a lot of time wishing to be any gender other than what they were assigned at birth. Wanting to be another gender is a perfectly valid reason to be that gender, and often, it means you were that gender all along.

Ultimately, your gender identity and how you label it (or don’t) is up to you. If you feel “genderfluid” is the best label for you, then go ahead and use it! Even if your label changes a year from now, or tomorrow, or even a moment later, what’s most important is that any label you use for your gender is one that makes you feel good. A final note from turn-me-into-a-girl.com, a site for trans women, that may be helpful for any trans person: “As a fundamental truth, we hold that gender is always self-identified. In fact, self-identification is the only meaningful way to determine gender. This means that nobody but you can say whether you’re a man, a woman, or anything else.”


Read more Voices of Gen-Z content like this here.


Written by writer Ezra Elias Vivas

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18 Comments


Cookie
Cookie
Jan 24

this literally made me cry. i have no idea what i am, but i feel uncomfortable sometimes. and just before this post, i was thinking how id like to be a shapeshifter. actually, whenever anyone asked what id like to have as a superpower, my answer would be the same. its like something clicked inside me now that i read this post. but im still not ready to accept it, i chalk it up to coincidence again. its too confusing and i dont want anyone to know that im even thinking this. but alas, i watched the new monster high too, and frankie is just so... wonderful. if only i could be like them, and if i could be a…

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Lyri SHADOW
Lyri SHADOW
Feb 24, 2023

Im a lot older than your target. Growing up I was the tomboy. Reluctantly dressed in frills and lace told not to climb trees or follow the boys down chasing sheep. There is a lot of unrelated trauma I've had to sift thru. Finally now at 44 I'm realising that I always wanted to be a boy or one of the boys. I'm happier away from makeup and dresses than in them. I'm lucky too that my partner of 20yrs is happy to grow with me. I now believe im genderfluid. I like to dress up like a girl sometimes, but mostly prefer not to. I doubt my family would get it but this realisation feels like a solid ground…

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Quantum/Mikey
Quantum/Mikey
Dec 10, 2022

Thank you so much for this article, recently I have been questioning my gender again. I am currently novigender, but I like any pronouns even neos but I hate when people only use she/her because it makes me feel weird, so I told people I didn't want to be referred by she/her anymore but I like it sometimes or I am okay with it, so I'm thinking it out again. But thank you for helping out!!!

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aylissa ellsworth
aylissa ellsworth
Oct 28, 2022

I'm in high school and am now a junior, I was born a girl and am raised christian and told any gender other than female and male is against my religion. I love my religion but I think I might be gender fluid or non-binary and I don't want my family to know because my dad was already upset when he found out I was bisexual my sophomore year. I have several friends who are gender fluid or are trans and some non-binary but I just feel like people will judge or not believe me if I tell them I feel this way. I like the idea of being called other genders but I've used female for so long that…

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Bennie Bops
Bennie Bops
May 01, 2022

One thing to learn about yourself is to know what gender of a brain you have. You've read that correctly. Not everyone is automatically born with a male brain in a male body assigned at birth and vice-verse for females. Know this fact for yourself can be another stepping stone closer to help yourself to identify who you are in this world.

My friend who suggested it to me as you can find him here -> solo.to/afriendlycow

Brain Gender Test URL here --> https://365tests.com/personality-tests/male-or-female-brain/

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